Last year we replaced our very old carpet in the bedrooms of our home. We went middle of the road – nothing too expensive, nothing too cheap – but I like what we chose. About a month ago, I was putting away my flimsy box that held all of my nail polish bottles away, when the handle snapped and it fell open. A bottle of very dark teal nail polish collided with another bottle, and it shattered. The teal nail polish covered my pants, feet, and worst of all, the carpet. My favorite pair of pajama bottoms met their fate in the trash, but what were we to do about the carpet? My wonderful husband tried as he might with windex, nail polish remover, and the extractor, but we were still left with a stain. I was devastated.
Fast forward to two nights ago. I had chosen a summery coral to paint my toes, and I was putting it away my new and very sturdy box when the top opened and a couple of bottles fell out. A pretty yellow bottle hit the coral and, before my eyes, cracked open sending yellow nail polish everywhere. I immediately began yelling and cursing, Josh came to the rescue, but again, we were left with a stain. At least this one matches the carpet better.
Why am I telling you about nail polish? Because, like most things, this gave me insight in to other problems I’m having. I am a clumsy person, my husband lovingly refers to someone “pulling a Gloria” when they have an open drink in their hand and bend over, forgetting gravity, spilling the drink out. (I do this often!) Both of these nail polish cases were not a fault of my clumsiness, they were unfortunate luck. I hopped in the shower to clean of my sandals and began to cry. Why me? Why did the second bottle have to break, and also why the first one? This is new carpet, and we’ll have to replace it again, and soon since we want to sell our house and move. I went to bed upset and feeling very sorry for myself.
I often get in to a “why me?” spiral, especially when it comes to Harry. Those “why me?”s are often also “why Harry?” and “why our family?”, and those hurt the worst. It’s easy to let a black cloud follow you or even over take you. Some days are easier to brush those feelings away, some are harder. Maybe it’s fate, maybe it’s in the cards – I don’t pretend to know why things happen to anyone. I also try to never say “everything happens for a reason” to anyone because I hate that saying. It doesn’t make anyone feel any better!
So, I ruined our carpet. So what? It didn’t happen because the universe has it out for me, even though I felt that way. I don’t have bad luck either. It’s just life – a string of sometimes shitty, sometimes awesome, and sometimes mediocre things happening to you and those around you. Honestly, the carpet was ruined the first time, so it was no worse for wear after the second spill. I could have laughed hysterically, honestly, but I chose to be angry and then feel sad, hoping the universe would pity me. You are your choices – this is something I am constantly working on. Take a moment and choose wisely.