Nostalgia hit me hard this week, and it was so, so strange. I had some time off from work (I worked the beginning of last week and I work the end of this week), so in preparation for vacation and a new job I spent most of the week running around doing this and that. The weather finally broke (I’m not complaining, just stating facts. I like the heat!) and it has been unseasonably cool, to me almost fall-like. Fall weather always makes me remember my early twenties when I worked at Six Flags Great Adventure. I worked in the summer too, but the fall was my favorite time to work because we had less open days and more days to work at our own pace. I used to work with the animals there, and those days, well, they were some of the best times of my life.
I always look back on that time in my life fondly. Part of it is because I was young, carefree, entering womanhood, discovering my passions, and so much more. I had some great people around me (also some not so great), but all in all it was a good time. When the weather turns cool I am instantly transported to that time – saying goodbye to summer loves and coworkers and such. So low and behold, the other day I am driving with the windows down enjoying the cool air, and as I happen to be passing the park my iPod turns on a song that I discovered and listened to during that time. I had such a physical reaction to the nostalgia, it was incredible. My heart raced, my breathing increased, my hands gripped the steering wheel, and I felt like I had tunnel vision. All of a sudden I was back in my trusty orange Explorer, going to work. It was a moment that I got to revisit that beloved time in my life. I was doing something I truly loved, learning about love and loss and being a woman, and life was good. Not that it isn’t good now, but it was just good.
I thought long and hard about those years after my song, aptly titled “Fresh Feeling” ended. The lyrics stuck with me too, and I felt like I had never really listened to the song before.
Try to forget what’s in the past
Tomorrow is here
Orange sky above lighting your way
There’s nothing to fear”
I look back on different times in my life and how in a rush I was to get to the next place, the next step or stage, whatever was next. It’s not that I wasn’t happy, it’s just that I was curious what was coming. I don’t want to go back to those times, I’m so comfortable and happy with where I am in my life, but I would give almost anything to be able to revisit and tell myself to SLOW DOWN! I feel like this as a parent a lot – I want to rush Harry to the next stage, and I have to remind myself to enjoy the now because it is gone way too fast.
Every chapter in your life is important. Some are more fun than others, but I still find myself looking back and feeling warm from one thing or another in each part of my life. I don’t have regrets, I have fond memories that will last a lifetime.