The Great Eval

My anxiety level has just peaked this evening due to our impending preschool evaluation tomorrow.  We have a meeting with our town’s special education program, and they plan to evaluate Harry for the upcoming school year.  Hold on, let me sip my wine and I’ll explain my two reasons for freaking out this evening, in no particular order.

Potential Problem #1: Harry gets placed in a special education classroom.

Harry does not belong in a special education classroom that encompasses many different problems children have.  I know that is a bold statement, and trust me I believe that special education is amazing and I am in awe of anyone who works as a teacher, aide, etc in special education.  I do not wish to shield my child from children who are differently abled than him.  On the contrary, I hope he makes friends of all different abilities.  New Jersey has this law that puts your child in the “least restrictive environment”, meaning that special education isn’t this one umbrella that all children fall under.  For example, non verbal children should be in an environment where they can have intense speech therapy that wouldn’t necessarily benefit another child with different abilities. I don’t think I am being just a mom who loves her son when I say that my Harry man is a bright little boy.  He has is developmentally ahead in speech, and right on target in fine motor.  What he lacks is gross motor skills, which warrants a mobility aide.  That aide would help him do the things he needs to do, like sit down, move safely around his classroom, play with his friends, and so on.  I’m afraid he will end up in special education from now on and I’ll have to fight it.

Problem #2: Someone else will tell us all the ways Harry is different.

This is a definite, and it will happen tomorrow. Professionals will look at my son and tell me all shades of how Harry is different and what skills he lacks.  They will point out what will make him different from his peers.  I’m sure I’m making this worse in my head, but unless you have a family member or friend going through a medical problem, you might not understand.  I know I’ve talked about this before, but I’ll explain again.  I can tell you about Harry, what he’s good at and what he’s not good at.  When I tell you, I’m in control of it.  Now turn it around – someone else is telling me about Harry’s inabilities, and it’s a whole other story.  I hate to hear someone else tell me what he can’t do.  It sounds bizarre, but it’s the truth.

Tomorrow will be okay, and I will fight if I need to for my Harry man because that’s my job.  I’m his Mama and I will never stop fighting for him.  I’ll keep you posted!


7 thoughts on “The Great Eval

    • Thanks, Sarah. I know it’s just preschool but I’m scared that this is the beginning of a lot of new stuff for us. I don’t feel very confident when I’m in a new situation!

      • You will always be great. You are smart and loving and have his best interests at heart. Years ago Rock and I worked with a program for kids of all special needs. It was started by a mom who had a son with special needs and Rock later told me there is something very awesome about moms of kids with special needs. They never take no for an answer and they always find a way to make things work. They don’t give up and they find a way. Sounds a lot like your awesomeness!

  1. You don’t have to be confident. You just have to trust your instincts and keep that Mama energy flowing. You WILL know what to do. Trust yourself, but also go easy on yourself and try to make some friends in the system. It’s going to be a long relationship. Sending love and support to you, Josh and sweet Harry.

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