Everyone has their own universe they live in. It’s their reality – what stares them in the face throughout their day. You can’t compare your reality to someone else’s, and that can be a hard fact to hang on to. I’ve had my struggles in life and each time I felt guilty about what was making me sad or feel down. Each of us is allowed to be as happy or as sad as we choose for each victory and each tragedy. I’ve learned not to judge through my own experiences.
When we couldn’t get pregnant, I felt guilty because I did really have my health. Others around me got pregnant and had babies, and I couldn’t find myself to be truly happy for them because I couldn’t pull my head out of my own universe for just one second and realize that was their joy, and they were allowed it. Sometimes what is going on in your life can feel like the worst thing in the world, and then you look back and realize it wasn’t. On the other hand, sometimes awful things happen and we don’t allow ourselves the grief we are entitled to. We think, “but it could be so much worse”, and while that is often true, that’s a coping mechanism. Allow yourself to be happy, sad, mad, whatever it is. Then you move on and get constructive.
When we figured out something was going on with Harry, my world crumbled in on itself. I felt like it was all over, and then immediately after I felt incredibly guilty because “it could be worse”. I fell in to this period of sadness and guilt and it crushed me. Finally, I allowed myself time to grieve and an amazing thing happened. Not only did I survive, but I came out stronger on the other end. I was a better version of myself, and I found something to get LOUD about.
What will you get loud about? What will light a fire under you; what gives you a reason to be a better person? For me, it’s not just my son but the fight against MUSCLE DISEASE. There are no treatments, there are no cures. We have runs for cancers and wounded warriors, and that’s great! I still do those runs and help raise money. But who is fighting for my son, and children like him? I will. I will spend every day I am on this earth doing something for this cause. I will always be LOUD about it. I will never stop talking about it – maybe unless there comes a cure. If you’re already tired of hearing it, you may want to run the other way now. But it’s relevant to me and so many other moms, dads, grandparents, aunts and uncles, friends, care givers…
I wear many hats, but this is my biggest one. My big, floppy sombrero! My oversized cowboy hat!! But that’s a story for another blog, my friends.
On the half marathon note, we have some exciting news. We have so graciously had a friend design a logo for our team, and it looks awesome. We have put that logo on a shirt, and through Bonfire are fund raising for our team! If you’re so inclined, rock our awesome shirt and you’ll be helping the MDA through us! Check it out here!
Stay loud, friends!