I am not normally a “Year in Review” kind of girl, unless there is something worth reviewing. The past two and half years have been mildly life changing, simply because I had my first child. This year, however, has been completely off the charts.
Somewhere in the beginning of the year, things started changing for Harry. Where he had been on track with milestones, he began to skip some. Everyone (including my pediatrician) told me that all kids develop at their own pace, but I always felt like something was really wrong. The piece that I focused on was his head lag: when laying flat on his back, if I lifted Harry by his arms, he couldn’t bring his head to neutral, and still can’t. This is not a normal “missed milestone”, and my pediatrician should have listened to me.
There began the roller coaster of trying to get health care professionals to listen to me. This has been an invaluable lesson that I will bring with me to my nursing career: always listen to the patient’s family, even if you do it with a grain of salt. Through this process I have learned to be my son’s advocate and to fight for him with every fiber of my being.
In 2014, I hit my lowest lows. I went places I never imagined, and not in a good way. I do feel like I grew significantly as a person out of all of this. I know that I am more kind, more gentle, and less self-centered. I still need to dial down a bit. I need to be less type A and get angry less. I need to wait to react. That’s a hard one. I need to displace a lot less! I’m terrible at being angry at one thing and taking it out on someone else.
2014 was terrible but also great, and I’ll be glad to see it in the rear view mirror and talk about it in the past tense. I wouldn’t change it for the world, though, because I am surrounded by the most wonderful people in the world who make it all seem possible. 2015 will be full of promise, as any new year can be. I will run my first half marathon surrounded by people who love Harry. I can’t even imagine what that will be like! So thank you to everyone reading this, thinking of us, or just existing in our lives some how. I say it all the time, but none of you realize how important you really are to our (and my) survival. I wish you the best new year possible!